#25322 Name: Anonymous   8h
i don't quite understand the point of discord nitro. i've never seen a discord nitro thing that was compelling. all i'm thinking is "huh, so this person is someone who would pay money for their discord profile to have flashing animations on it. noted." like that's not a dig at the person in question, its just a choice i don't understand.
#25323 Name: Anonymous   8h
on second thought maybe i just don't understand discord. i am (in a way unrelated to my actual age) Too Old For This. i want to send someone a hand written letter like God intended is that so much to ask.
#25324 Name: avoid   9h
wow this has been the most suicidal ive ever been. like i just thought about killing myself as if i had no other choice like i cant just live another day or find a good reason enough to keep going.

ive always thought even if i think about doing it it doesnt mean ill go through with it because im a coward/pussy. but im not sure if i believe that anymore.

its scary. i dont want it to end this way.
#25325 Name: Anonymous   10h
>>25324
In the US? Call (877)235-4525 for the HopeLine and get some help. Suicide sucks and it doesn't have to end like that.
#25326 Name: Anonymous   10h
i’ll be praying for you, anon
#25327 Name: Anonymous   10h
The suicidal feelings never really leave. You just become dead inside instead of outside, so you can get on with your day.
#25328 Name: Anonymous   11h
>>25324
It's a little strange when you have to tell someone at a bus stop not to catch the bus.
#25329 Name: anon   22h
>>25324
I get you </3 i've attempted a few times and in those days it really feels like there's no other options at all, nothing to look forward to, and the thought of ending it consumes your mind and leaves nothing behind. it's such a nasty feeling and i'm so sorry you're going through that right now. suicide is one of the hardest things you can do, and avoiding it when you're feeling like this can be even harder, you're not a coward for it no matter the case.

the reason to live doesn't need to be at any high standard. for me, i just want to stick around long enough to play the ending to deltarune. waiting for media to release has always been the thing keeping me going, it can feel silly only living because another season of a kid's cartoon will release but sometimes that's just what you gotta do. can't find a good reason to live, then find a bad reason, find a mediocre reason. the reason could even be "I want to live long enough to see the day where i no longer feel suicidal"

I won't recommend a hotline, because it's scary to talk to them and they're likely unhelpful imo. but perhaps give Suicide: The Forever Decision
by Paul G. Quinnett a read, there's a free pdf floating around somewhere. it's not perfect, but he makes some interesting points that might help with perspective (he also makes other points that kinda pmo but it's worth a read)

from one suicidal person to another, I want the best for you