#0 Name: Anonymous
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#10882 Name: Anonymous   6h
When it comes to living in an abusive household the first response is always "move out" or "run away". This tends to ignore that 1. the person has been raised in a household so abusive and controlling they never learned basic life skills, do know how to escape, but are stuck in a learned helplessness mindset, or have become completely oblivious to how terrible their household is and what they gain from moving out. 2. It tends to ignore the many financial problems they have. If you live in an area with expensive apartments, living, or medicine your SOL when it comes to moving.
For example I have monthly 1,000 dollar, yes that's right, medical care which is impossible to pay for without the support of my parents. Running away and going no contact is then a suicide plan because I won't be able to scrape enough money in time to pay for medication with a minimum wage job.
Thankfully I can live with my parents for the time being if I don't do things that offend their conservative senses, dress in bright colors, stay out late in college, hand out alone with the opposite sex, and my Moms mood swings, while severe, are once a month. It just irks me that when I complain about my home life I have to hear "just move out" when I know thats financially impossible for me. I just plan to move out once I graduate college with a CS degree
#10883 Name: Mr. SK   11h
When you do complain, what sort of reaction would you prefer? Example?
#10884 Name: Anonymous   12h
A preferred response would be one that doesn't assume an aggressive reaction is possible and gives some defensive options. I'd be happy if people asked me if moving out was possible for me and if not what my problems are instead of just having "move out" as a gut reaction. I don't think everyone should adopt this approach because the thing stopping me from moving is rather niche.
The main thing I want is that after I tell someone I can't move out they give me advice on how to deal with my parents or listen to me vent. Someone telling my to place my college classes when my mom is free to avoid her helped me more than the mantra of "move out"